“Chaos” by Kaitlyn Mendez-Juliao

Chaos is the color red. It is the puddle of hot blood you’re pushed into; it’s sticky. You can smell smoke, and when you open your eyes there are flames engulfing your brain. Chaos is the devil your grandmother warned you about. “He’s handsome,” Abuela says. Chaos doesn’t care about what your Abuela says and asks you to dance anyways.

Chaos is freedom. It’s man or woman that bites into you with kisses and teeth. It can destroy everything with the color of destruction but it’s a color you’ve never seen before. It’s the color of fucking your normative ways, your black and white routine, your injustice of watching quiet murder. Chaos is loud and quiet at the same time. It wraps your head into a world that wasn’t yours and now you have to learn all over again to live with a mask, to live with murder, to live with the air rich with poison. No, chaos has you screaming this time because chaos needs to show you that you are alive. Chaos inspires us to live life covered in all the bites, blood, and music ringing in our ears causing our feet to move. Yes, I will move.

Kaitlyn Mendez-Juliao is an undergraduate English major at the University of Massachusetts-Boston. She wrote “Chaos” in response to Ava Fields prompt from week one of DotWrite21: What inspires you about chaos?

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